Chinese Love Symbols & Ancient Romantic Gifts | Betrothal Tokens Through History

Chinese Love Symbols

In ancient times, betrothals followed the rule of “parents’ orders and matchmakers’ words,” but young lovebirds in their teens often swapped personal Chinese love symbols to seal their feelings. Let’s dive into the world of these ancient Chinese romantic gifts and explore the popular traditional Chinese betrothal tokens from back then!

In ancient China, a betrothal was a big deal—a key social step to lock in a marriage, just shy of the wedding itself. It stuck to the “parents’ orders and matchmakers’ words” vibe, but those rebellious teens often exchanged secret tokens on the down-low, hidden from prying eyes due to strict social norms and traditions. These traditional Chinese betrothal tokens carried deep symbolism in Chinese marriage customs, blending love and cultural heritage into ancient Chinese love traditions.

Ancient Chinese love traditions included tokens like bracelets, arm bands, rings, earrings, sachets, or even family heirlooms and carefully picked keepsakes. Whether the item was pricey or not, it always carried a story or personal tie—its emotional weight wasn’t about the cost. Handing over a Chinese love symbol was like offering your heart, vowing lifelong devotion as part of symbolism in Chinese marriage customs.

1. Bracelet – How to Seal the Distance? Twin Rings Around the Wrist.

Bracelets, a classic Chinese love symbol, go way back, popping up during the shift from matriarchal to patriarchal societies. Around 6,000 years ago, digs at Banpo and West Xiahou in Qufu unearthed clay rings and stone bracelets—early wrist decor made from bones, teeth, stones, or pottery. Shapes ranged from round tubes to full circles, even two half-rings pieced together.

By Sui, Tang, and Song dynasties, women rocking arm bracelets—called bi tian—was super common, not just for nobles. Check Yan Liben’s Step Carriage Map or Zhou Fang’s Ladies with Flower Adornments—those gals are decked out with ancient Chinese romantic gifts! Even commoners loved them. History notes Cui Guangyuan’s troops looting during a campaign, chopping off women’s arms for their bracelets—proof they were everywhere!

Post-Tang, materials and crafts leveled up with gold, silver, jade-inlaid, and gem-studded options. Styles hit round, beaded, twisted, braided, or bamboo looks. By Ming, Qing, and the Republic, gem-encrusted gold bracelets ruled, with designs and techniques blowing up.

Though seen as arm candy born from early beauty vibes, some scholars think bracelets started with totem worship or ritual magic. Others say, with men dominating economically, they hinted at “keeping women in check”—a rough custom tied to ancient Chinese love traditions and Chinese love symbols.

2. Arm Band – How to Show True Devotion? Twin Gold Rings on the Arm.

Early arm bands, mostly from the north, were hammered gold or silver strips coiled into spirals—three to eight loops, plain or etched with patterns (“flower” or “plain” bands). From any angle, they looked like stacked bracelets, serving as a unique Chinese love symbol. The character “tian” blends “gold” with “river,” hinting at its flowing shape.

3. Ring – How to Express Deep Care? One Silver Band for Two.

Unmarried girls didn’t wear rings—reserved for betrothals or love pledges, making this tiny traditional Chinese betrothal token heavy with meaning, even today. Slipping it on from a loved one could mean a lifetime of joy or tears down the line.

Taiping Guangji tells of scholar Li Zhangwu and a Wang family wife’s romance. Parting, she gifted him a white jade ring with a poem: “Twist this ring, think of me, see it and recall. Hold it forever, a loop with no end.” Later, he returned to find her dead from longing—their spirits reunited at her home, a tale rooted in symbolism in Chinese marriage customs.

Yunxi Youyi recounts Wei Gao and Yuxiao’s love. Leaving, he gave her a jade ring, promising to return in five to seven years. He broke his word; she starved herself to death. As West Sichuan governor, he regretted it, built Buddha statues to atone, and—legend says—she reincarnated as a singer, rekindling their bond with this Chinese love symbol.

4. Earring – How to Offer a Little? Twin Pearls in the Ear.

Chinese women have jazzed up their ears with decor since forever, often using earrings as Chinese love symbols. Shan Hai Jing mentions “Qing Yi Mountain’s goddess, small-waisted, white-teeth, with pierced ears,” while Three Kingdoms’ Zhuge Ke notes, “Ear piercing with pearls, an old trend.” From the Three Dynasties to now, it’s been a hit—ear studs, drops, rings, or pendants. Qing writer Li Yu’s Idle Thoughts on Living calls simple earrings “dingxiang” and fancy ones “luosuo,” saying “one pin, one earring, a lifetime match”—a big deal in ancient Chinese love traditions.

Tang’s Zhang Ji’s Widow’s Song—“Return your twin pearls, tears fall, regretting not meeting before marriage”—uses pearls for earrings, maybe adding a sad twist. Yuan’s Zhang Huilian’s Bamboo Branch Song mourns her late husband: “Recalling the pearls you bought me with, I comb and paint my brows. Where are you now, I’m alone—dreading butterflies in flowers.”

After the Jingkang Incident, Song Huizong sent Cao Xun to flee to Southern Song, carrying items from Zhao Gou’s kin—including his wife’s earring—as proof. Their deep love might’ve stirred Zhao Gou to save them, but with half the nation lost and her “dishonor,” she was left with one earring, tears flowing for a lost home.

5. Sachet – How to Knock on the Heart? A Pouch Tied at the Elbow.

Sachets, aka pouches or bags, have ancient roots, traced to pre-Qin times. Li Ji • Nei Ze says youths wore “jin ying” (woven sachets) to honor parents, and lovers swapped them as ancient Chinese romantic gifts to express love.

During the Anshi Rebellion, Emperor Xuanzong fled with Yang Guifei. At Mawei Slope, troops rebelled; he sacrificed her to calm them. Buried hastily, her body later revealed only bones when exhumed, but her chest sachet remained intact. The aging emperor, seeing it, wept for lost Lishan joys—Zhang Hu’s Taizhen Sachet Poem captures it: “Gold-stitched pouch, old scent lingers. Who’ll undo it for the king, a lifetime of regret tied within.”

Jin Shu • Jia Wu Zhuan tells of Jia Chong’s daughter Jia Wu and aide Han Shou’s love. She gifted him Western spices—likely in a handmade sachet—caught by her father’s nose. Instead of scolding, he wed them, sparking a legendary romance tied to traditional Chinese betrothal tokens.

In Dream of the Red Chamber, Lin Daiyu stitched a sachet for Baoyu, each stitch full of love. Misunderstanding he gave it away, she snipped another in a huff—yet he wore it close. When youth fades, seeing it might recall her, though Baoyu might shy away.

6. Jade Pendant – How to Bind Affection? Fine Jade on Silk Tassels.

Ancient Chinese adored jade—“gentlemen never part with jade without reason.” Gu Shi Jian explains: “Jade on tassels seals love,” making it a prominent Chinese love symbol. “Lu ying,” colored silk belts tied at the waist for married women, made “jie li” (tying the belt) a wedding term. Shi Jing’s “Tying her belt, nine rites in order” shows a mother’s tender farewell to her bride.

7. Lover’s Knot – How to Tie Hearts? Plain Threads, Twin Needles.

Shi Yuan recounts Wen Zhou and neighbor Jiang’s love. He gave her a crystal needle; she wove a lover’s knot with twin needles and “lian li” thread, symbolizing purity and fidelity as a traditional Chinese betrothal token.

Weaving silk into looped knots packed with love, Liang’s Emperor Xiao Yan wrote, “Twin silk belts at the waist, dream of a lover’s knot.” Song’s Lin Bu sighed, “Tears fill us both, the knot unfinished, tides calm at the river.” “Tie,” a character like a net of devotion, catches endless love tales rooted in ancient Chinese love traditions.

8. Hairpin – How to Bind Together? Gold Leaf Hair Stick.

Hairpins, long pins to secure buns or caps, later became women’s hair decor and a cherished Chinese love symbol. Shi Ji • Humor Tales notes “lost earring ahead, hairpin behind,” and Du Fu’s Spring View laments, “White hair short, barely holds a pin.”

China’s minorities used hairpins for style with rich cultural flair. Tang to Song saw a boom—Dunhuang murals show women with flower pins. Song Shu • Travel Records notes “Yuanjia Year 6, women with hairpins and combs.” Southwest girls in Lu You’s Entering Shu sported six silver pins and a giant ivory comb.

Ming-Qing pins varied wildly, with heads shaped like flowers, birds, or beasts—plum, lotus, chrysanthemum, peach, peony, hibiscus. Men gifted them as ancient Chinese romantic gifts, and women returned them as tokens, sparking many a romantic saga. Modern pins mimic ancient designs, with gold and silver still favorites.

9. Hair Ornament – How to Ease Parting? Tortoiseshell Pin Behind the Ear.

Hair ornaments, with pearl or gold floral designs and dual pins, secured buns at the temples and served as a Chinese love symbol.

Beyond decor, they carried emotions. Lovers or spouses split them—half kept, half given, reunited later. Xin Qiji’s Zhu Yingtai Near • Late Spring—“Split ornament, Peach Leaf Ferry, misty southern bank”—captures this farewell. Nalan Xingde’s “Ornament halves two hearts, why wet my lapel?” bleeds with separation pain, reflecting symbolism in Chinese marriage customs.

10. Skirt – How to Answer Joy? Three Layers of Fine Silk.

“Wan su” (fine silk) evolved from “chang” (skirt), stitched from narrow fabrics. Han Liu Xi’s Shi Ming • Clothes says “skirt, group of panels joined.” Han Xin Yannian’s Feather Forest Lad describes “long skirt with twin belts, wide-sleeve joy top.”

Wu Zetian’s Ruyi Song—“Red turns green with endless thoughts, worn out for you. Doubt my tears? Check the pomegranate skirt”—hints at love’s ache, pondering for whom she wrote, reflecting ancient Chinese love traditions.

As we explore the significance of items like the skirt in ancient Chinese love traditions, it becomes evident that clothing was more than just attire—it often served as a canvas for romance and commitment. Delving deeper into the world of traditional garments can shed light on how they complemented Chinese love symbols, making it a perfect moment to examine the elegant styles of Hanfu and their historical role in courtship rituals.

11. Red Bean – Wish You’d Pick More, This Holds the Most Love!

“Red beans sprout in the south, a few in spring. Pick plenty, they’re pure longing!” Legend says a soldier’s wife cried for him on a hill, tears turning to red beans—her love grew into a tree, its heart-shaped seeds called “longing beans,” a poignant Chinese love symbol.

12. Comb – Join Hair, Heart to Heart, a Gift of Combs.

“Join hair, gift a comb” meant lifelong love in ancient China. Combs symbolized eternal entanglement, like the wedding chant: “First comb to the end, second to white brows, third to full halls of kids”—blessing and love wrapped in one. Qixi festivals saw comb exchanges as part of ancient Chinese love traditions.

Meanings? Longing, closeness, love, health—combing sweeps worries away, boosting confidence. Some say don’t gift combs to friends (absurd!) but to lovers for “white hair together” as a traditional Chinese betrothal token.

13. Handkerchief – Holding a Silk Cloth, Smiling Sweetly.

Handkerchiefs in ancient times carried flirty vibes—picture a shy girl, cheeks flushed, offering one to her crush, a mix of helplessness and joy sparking affection. Old texts say, “A girl with a silk cloth, smiling brightly”—standing amid flowers, waving it coyly, hiding a grin, then teasing, “Silly!”—a move that could kick off a timeless romance or epic tale, echoing symbolism in Chinese marriage customs.

14. Sichuan Pepper – Straight to the Point, Kids Galore!

This spice, with its many seeds, hinted at “many kids” post-marriage. In Spring and Autumn, lovers swapped it as a traditional Chinese betrothal token, like in Shi Jing • Chen Feng • East Gate, where a guy got pepper from a girl at a dance, promising a big family—love was pretty direct back then!

15. Fruit – You Toss Me a Wood Apple, I Return Jade.

Shi Jing • Wei Feng • Wood Apple—“You give me a wood apple, I give jade. Not just a gift, but love forever!” Men hunted, women gathered, so fruit was hers to offer, sealing love with gems as a symbol in Chinese marriage customs.

16. Split Items – Total Soap Opera Vibes!

TV dramas love this—splitting a jade pendant, each keeping half as a love pledge and a Chinese love symbol. Other splits? Lipstick cases, mirrors, or hairpins. With tough travel—years away for exams or trips—returns often met changed lives, making these tokens proof of identity or lost love.

17. Lover’s Lock – Forever Tied Together.

A tale goes: A kind girl and honest boy loved each other, but her merchant dad betrothed her to a rich lord. On the wedding day, he snatched her, fleeing to the hills. Cornered, they leapt off, leaving locked stone weights.

A beautiful myth, a heartfelt wish, or an eternal vow—names carved on a lock, chained among Buddhas, “locking” love tight. Sincere hearts get divine blessings for everlasting bonds. Silent love in a lock hopes to never unlock, basking in life’s sunshine as an ancient Chinese romantic gift.

18. Ruyi – All Wishes Come True, Fit for Royalty.

Palaces displayed ruyi for emperors and empresses to enjoy. As a token, emperors used it to pick consorts, and it was a noble gift for coronations or birthdays, offered by lords, often serving as a Chinese love symbol.

19. Hair – A Strand to Carry, My Heart Follows Forever.

Women’s hair holds deep emotion—flowing clouds, raven piles, rainy locks… Shi Jing’s “East of Bo, hair like wild grass. No oil or wash, who do I dress for?” shows longing. Han’s Feather Forest Lad praises Hu girls’ “two locks worth millions.” Nuyi’s Spring Dawn skips hairpins for lock beauty. Su Shi’s Cave Immortal Song paints “curtain open, moon peeks, hair a mess”—pure charm. Sima Guang’s “loose bun, light makeup” exudes elegance, while White-Haired Witch’s Lian Nishang’s overnight white hair from love pain moved many.

“Qing” (blue) and “qing” (love), “si” (thread) and “si” (thought)—hair entwines. After Yang Guifei’s second banishment, she cut a lock for Xuanzong via an eunuch, saying, “My crimes deserve death, all but hair from parents.” He wept, reconciled, and later, in a storm, clutched it, crying till death reunited them.

Zhang Sheng got a lock from Yingying at a farewell—later tales made them a couple, but originally, her hair couldn’t hold his heart. He dismissed her as a “seductress,” his abandonment framed as wisdom. Years later, visiting as a cousin, her poem replied: “Where’s that throwaway now? Once close, now take the present.”

These Chinese love symbols witnessed love, each carrying a vow of fidelity. Some faded from today’s life, others still pass between lovers as ancient Chinese romantic gifts.

Top 10 Ancient Chinese Love Tokens: 1. Wife Material—Hairpin; 2. Gentleman’s Love—Jade Pendant; 3. Fragrant Affection—Sachet; 4. Straight Talk—Sichuan Pepper; 5. Gentle Virtue—Fruit; 6. From Parents—Hair; 7. Drama Central—Split Items; 8. Tangled Love—Lover’s Knot; 9. Immortal’s Pick—Bracelet; 10. Royal Choice—Jade Ruyi.

The journey through Chinese love symbols reveals how deeply intertwined they are with the cultural fabric of ancient China, where clothing often carried layers of meaning in betrothal and love. To fully appreciate this connection, let’s take a closer look at the rich history of traditional Chinese Hanfu, highlighting the top styles that have shaped romantic expressions across generations.